Today while at the very large park at Washington Park, I sat and watched all the people scurrying around chasing after their kids, and it became painfully clear that I have been slacking. It is indeed time for Becca's Fashion Proclamation*. So here is my list of things that are hereby illegal.
1. Visors
I don't know who thought visors were an acceptable fashion piece in the first place, but they are right out. There WILL be mercy shown to (1) old ladies wearing a visor while playing tennis and (2) children under age 8 wearing a visor; their parents, however, will be treated with extreme prejudice.
2. Puffy things
Puffy vest, jackets, pants, headbands...if it's puffy then it's illegal. The only puffy thing allowed is a puffy vest being worn in a boat at sea (aka a life vest). Extra harsh punishment will be shown to those wearing a puffy vest or jacket that also has furriness on it.
3. Capris
I know, I know, lots of people wear capris and you're probably one of those people. But I can't be soft just because lots of people wear capris. This is a difficult one because some capris I would let slide. This is very rare. So wear capris at your own risk. Note: Khaki capris are never acceptable (khaki anything isn't allowed).
4. Socks with sandals
Seriously, when will people catch on that socks with sandals are just ridiculous!! It might be all the rage in Idaho and Utah but it is still 100% not ok. Either wear naked feet with sandals or wear socks with shoes. Extra harsh punishment will be shown to those wearing socks and sandals with khaki shorts!
5. Camouflage
Camo was designed to not be seen, so don't let it be. Anyone wearing camo with pink will be shown an extra helping of no mercy.
*Anyone breaking one (or more) of these laws will face overly severe and completely unnecessary punishment.
I recognize that there are some of you who wear these things; these are probably the same people who say "It's what's on the inside that counts." Obviously that's a ridiculous notion; everyone should be too ashamed to leave their house if they aren't Rose approved. However, if you are leaving your house to come visit me and aren't Rose approved, then I'll be happy to ignore that you are breaking one or more of the Fashion Proclamation laws.
PS: I hereby proclaim that I am not petty.
